How Privileged We Women Are!

I, from time to time, find myself at an MRA ("men's rights activists" or "morally ridiculous assholes", take your pick) website, and most of what I find is either loltastic and useless or frightening. However, I did come across a little tidbit. In response to the ALAS! male privilege checklist, Masculist Advice posted another list (among others) to counter it, found on some MRA forum or other. I haven't looked at the other so-called female privilege checklists, but this one defines ridiculous. I'm posting it below, along with my commentary, which is in magenta. My boyfriend made a suggestion to aid in my commentary for 11).

1) Career wise, I can complain about harassment and not be laughed at or have my gender called into question by both genders.
Having the harassment minimized by the harasser and other co-workers alike, regardless of gender, and being accused of ulterior motives is so much better.

2) I can skip a few years of employment and then return, demanding the same raises that others have had who remained employed. If my demand is not met, I can accuse the company of discrimination.
I can totally decide to do this even when I don’t have children, and I will never be fired or conveniently laid off for it.

3) Even though I'm more likely to abuse children, I am perceived as sweet & innocent.
I’m never perceived as a bitch milking the system and using my children as accessories, especially not when I’m a single teenage mother.

4) If I start a fight with a man, I can be guaranteed others will come to my defense - even if he isn't defending himself.
No one will ever call me a “crazy bitch.” As for cases where women have been beaten or stabbed to death in the hearing of or in the sight of many other people? They must be made up. Somehow.

5) I can go to a bar and drink for free.
I LOVE having strange men try to buy my compliance with a drink.

6) I almost never have to worry about being sexually harassed by my boss as I can take him to the cleaners if he even tries it.
And no one will ever tell me that I’m exaggerating, lying, or misinterpreting his actions or words.

7) My ability to do a certain job will never come into question because of my gender.
The higher-ups at my job NEVER assume I can’t do something because I’m a woman, they ALWAYS trust that I can do it myself, and customers NEVER admonish me for being a “little girl” doing “men’s work”.

8) I can fall on my gender as a sympathy vote if I run for politics.
And that’s how Hilary Clinton became the next president of the United States and why Kim Campbell was Canada’s longest reigning prime minister…Oh wait…

9) I can marry someone based on their financial or social status like it will actually empower me more.
I’m not at all living up to a negative stereotype of women.

10) I can sexually assault men and remain legally immune.
And this is thanks to feminists who NEVER mention that women sexually assault men sometimes. It has nothing to do with any patriarchal belief that women are too weak to ever overpower men and that men are gay if they don’t want sex.

11) I can go out in public wearing almost anything without being harassed or judged as I have a lot more options in clothing, whereas men are generally restricted in their 'acceptable' dress codes.
I never get catcalls, ever, or insults, or wild assumptions about my overall personality, nor am I ever assumed to be in a perpetual state of consent.

12) If I so happen to meet someone at a party, and decide to have sex, I would be viewed as being 'empowered' and television even promotes this with programmes like 'sex in the city'.
Slut, whore, jezebel, loose, skank, ho, tramp, etc. are EMPOWERING words. EVERY woman wants to be like those portrayed in Sex and the City, including wearing painful high-heels!

13) I can sexually mutilate my male children and deprive them of a few thousand nerves, which assist greatly in enhancing sexual pleasure.
You see, it’s mothers, not fathers at all, who decide to have their male children circumcised.

14) My handbag is my world and I get to have groups follow me for a simple pee.
My whole life revolves around my handbag! How would I live without it? And having to pee will never interrupt a conversation with girlfriends because they'll just come with me! These two are somehow related and are totally an example of how privileged we women are.

15) I don’t have to worry about the father's opinion if I get pregnant, it's all about me!
An example that proves how little I care about his opinion is that I’m too afraid of it to tell him I’m pregnant.

16) I can bash men and no one bats an eye-lid, if a man bashes us women - we call him a misogynist and people will shun him.
Remember, indignant men (and indeed women) telling a woman not to generalize is not equal to batting an eyelid – nervous silence and/or laughter when men generalize women totally is, though.

17) I can date more than one man at the same time, and society would think I'm empowered.
No one would EVER call me a slut/whore/skank/ho/loose/etc. NEVER.

18) I can put on the television and be safe in the knowledge that women are portrayed positively while men are portrayed as idiots or abusers.
Indeed Hannah Montana, Raymond's mother, the cast of Desperate Housewives, Phoebe, etc. are all positive female characters who aren’t idiots, manipulative, or annoying and do not conform to negative female stereotypes at all, while Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, Dr. House, Dr. Who, Dexter, Lieutenant Horatio Caine, etc. are all abusive idiots.

19) I am practically immune from legal repercussions for my actions as I have feminist groups coming to my saviour - even killing my children or husband.
That’s why Aileen Wuornos, Betty Borderick, Andrea Yates, Clara Harris, etc. never paid for their crimes…Oh wait…Well, they must be exceptions, then.

20) I reproduce - that must be pretty awesome for guys to witness.
Almost as awesome as experiencing childbirth.

21) I can fake an orgasm... something almost impossible for a guy to do.
Because faking an orgasm so a guy will feel proud of his ‘achievement’ and get the fuck off you is much more fun than having a real one in a sexual situation you actually want to be in.

22) No pharmacist can claim the right to deny me any medicines I ask for at a drug store as I can claim discrimination. Of course, if I'm underage that's different - duh.
What now? And, you know, underage girls should totally be refused the morning-after pill. Only adult women should be able to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, especially to avoid "milking the system", which underage girls are never accused of.

23) Even when I am acting within my gender role, I am GAINING from it, rather than being oppressed as I can CHOOSE to stay at home and enjoy watching the children grow up while my husband (assuming I bother to keep him around) works his ass off to keep a roof over our head.
Because raising children, doing laundry, cooking, and cleaning isn’t work at all. That must be why men don’t want to do it. And hey! It's even better when I don't have a husband because I get to do all of that AND work full time!

24) If I go to church, I can attend knowing the folks are taught immeasurable levels of respect for me and it is meant to be mutual respect.
As long as I am a virgin, faithfully married, or a repentant "sinner".

25) I don’t have to live up to expectations of how thin I am supposed to be - feminism freed me from such pettiness.
Yup, no woman EVER has to worry about being insulted or looked down on for her body weight.

26) I get to use PMS as an excuse for murdering my children or husband.
This "condition", as well as being "on my rag", which is used to determine whether or not I can be taken seriously, is something I can totally use as an excuse for anything I do! And there was no male teacher in high school who insisted that his female students "prove" to him that we had a "girl problem".

Yeah, great job, MRM! You proved how privileged we women are right there!