I'll be waiting a while

Well, breakups suck. My boyfriend of six years broke up with me last night. That and many other reasons contribute to the suckitude (it's a word, damn it!) of this, not least that male "friends" of mine whom have shown more-than-friendly interest in the past are now going to assume I'll go for them. Men who can actually see women as human beings they might want to just be friends with seem few and far between for me past high school. One I lost contact with, one I ended up dating (he's the one who just broke up with me), and the other is gay. Just about every other male friend of mine is, well, too friendly, and there are few, if any, of them I would actually take up on their offers. You see, investing in a relationship with a very intelligent and intellectual man for over a quarter of my life has left me with some high standards. Basically, I don't want to do it all over again with another man. He's simply going to already be where I'm at. Thus, I decided to to devise some ground rules for dating me. The fact that none of the aforementioned too friendly males have likely read this or will read it pretty much solidifies that we will never end up together. So here it is as follows:

You think you even have a chance at a long-term relationship with me?

It gets easier

As a feminist, one becomes more and more aware of our misogynist society and all of the little and big things that help to uphold it. As anyone recognizable as a woman, cis or trans, one thus can no longer accept street harassment as "normal" behaviour. But it's still hard to deal with. Realizing that such people are exercising their privilege and think of you as an object, rather than it being something you've done, doesn't help one deal with such harassment, at least at first.
      

Smile, bitch!

So, it’s currently 5:22 this sunny afternoon* and I just got told to smile about ten minutes ago. What, on earth, does this have to do with anything, you ask? Well, let me share with you that I had just finished renewing my bus pass and was on my way to the bus stop when I noticed a man I’d passed earlier playing his guitar. I’d already given him two quarters and didn’t expect him to recognize me. I wanted to avoid the awkward, “Oh I just saw you a little while ago” partly because I hate not to give what little money I can spare to those in need of it. What can I say? I’m something of a philanthropist. Well, in trying to avoid looking at this man, I, looking in front of me (as one generally does when walking), accidentally made eye-contact with a different man sitting outside a restaurant. I looked away and continued walking and just as I passed him, he said “Smile.”

Holding the Door

Cross-posted on my deviantART account.

Often, in arguments of feminism, you come across the subject of chivalry. These days, it seems that anti-feminists are offended at feminism's rejection of chivalry (holding the door, taking her coat, pulling out a chair, etc.), but let's take a closer examination, shall we?
      
      In many arguments I've had in the past, I've had men declare that if women wanted equality, then they shouldn't expect chivalry. Well, I personally have never expected chivalry. I was taught that it's polite to hold a door, not that it's polite for specifically men to hold the door for specifically women. If I reach the door first, I hold it for the person who comes after me, regardless of gender. If someone is ahead of me but is elderly, has too much to carry, is physically-handicapped, or has small children with hir, then I will speed ahead to hold the door. If, however, a perfectly capable person is ahead of me, then I expect that person, again regardless of gender, to hold the door for me. Or if I am carrying many things, I would be grateful if someone sped ahead of me to hold the door. It's just simple politeness between human beings.
      

Case in Point: the Everyday Misogynist

My boyfriend told me about this conversation that occurred on facebook. In the interest of protecting people, even people who disgust me, I will use initials rather than people's names here and only the first letter of any city described. I will not include parts of the conversation that are irrelevant to what I want I want to discuss here, nor comments that reveal too much personal information. This is a prime example of the closet misogynist. Notice how he begins, and what is actually revealed. Notice that the comments reveal that he, in fact, is a straight conservative white middle class male who believes that if we are equal under the law, we must be in society. He believes that he is no more privileged than anyone else and that no one is less privileged than he is. He uses words like "scream" to describe the rightful protests demanding equality. People were being polite to him, I think. I don't intend to be. Once again, my commentary will be in magenta.

AE: is brainstorming for a speech for international women's day at the beginning of March.

PH: When is international men's day?

He couldn't just, you know, not comment?

AE: Every day... P
 

PH: No, really? Why is there a day for women and not men? Are we not all equal? I personally don't think there should be a day for either.

Because women are oppressed for being women, and men are not oppressed for being men. No, we are not all equal, yet. Ah, of course you don't think there should be a day for either, and that would have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that you're a privileged male, now would it?

How Privileged We Women Are!

I, from time to time, find myself at an MRA ("men's rights activists" or "morally ridiculous assholes", take your pick) website, and most of what I find is either loltastic and useless or frightening. However, I did come across a little tidbit. In response to the ALAS! male privilege checklist, Masculist Advice posted another list (among others) to counter it, found on some MRA forum or other. I haven't looked at the other so-called female privilege checklists, but this one defines ridiculous. I'm posting it below, along with my commentary, which is in magenta. My boyfriend made a suggestion to aid in my commentary for 11).

1) Career wise, I can complain about harassment and not be laughed at or have my gender called into question by both genders.
Having the harassment minimized by the harasser and other co-workers alike, regardless of gender, and being accused of ulterior motives is so much better.

2) I can skip a few years of employment and then return, demanding the same raises that others have had who remained employed. If my demand is not met, I can accuse the company of discrimination.
I can totally decide to do this even when I don’t have children, and I will never be fired or conveniently laid off for it.